Living with the Lawsons: March 2015

Hello to all my people! You've probably been wondering....whatever happened to our most favorite blogger, Momma Kira?? Well, we've been a busy ole crew. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years flew right by us. Then there was Issak's 5th birthday party at the treehouse. Party, people. Boy parties are so fun. Then there was Valentine's Day. I think I explained what a valentine card was 45651 times and Issak STILL wanted to keep all the batman's to himself. haha. They've been spoiled way too much, but hey, they're only kids once. As long as they don't act like spoiled brats, whatevs. BUT. I won't be raising spoiled, rotten, bratty kids. So. Its a balance. And if you see my kid looking or acting like a brat, holla. We don't do the sass.

We did snow days. We did snow weeks. It was a blast. By the end of 2 weeks off of regular school, complete cabin fever had ensued. I am so thankful for those two weeks though. Although at times, my patience was dwindling to nothing, it gave us time to bond as a family. We get family time on the weekends, but week nights are hard. To all you working parents, I respect you so much. Its hard to work a full day, get kids, give them the attention they need while you cook dinner and they do homework, then do baths and bed. Our week nights seem so chaotic, so those 2 weeks of snow days were gifts. We got to have so much fun with friends and family sledding, snow boarding, and being wild in the four wheeler/rock crawler. I'm sure there are pics somewhere...I'll try to add a few after this post. Make sure you watch the video on facebook of sledding. Unfortunately, Brandon probably broke his tailbone on the first snow day. Not to worry, he still joined the fun the remainder of the two weeks and even built a crazy snow fort.   "Awesome Lawson genes", he says. I say its boys that go stir crazy and want to ride on the work equipment.

Today marks one year that we've had the kids. One whole year. I still remember sitting at work and getting the 15 missed calls, then my friend Martha telling me that her husband said I needed to call Brandon ASAP. When I got the news, I was stunned. "I'm going to be a mom? Of two toddlers? They're coming tonight? Like...in 2 hours?!" I think I felt shock, fear, and complete disbelief all in the matter of seconds. I know for a fact that I sat there with dear co-workers and just cried. Like...what in the world have we gotten ourselves into? I immediately chatted Julie on gchat, and was like....uhhhh....so I'm gonna be a mom tonight?? I remember calling Lindsey on the way home and being like....oh my gosh, you won't believe this. I remember all the kind words that people gave. I am still in awe of how God provided and made every single detail fall into place. Our extra bedroom that was storage, instantly was cleaned out by some of the most precious ~~boys~~ men that I know. Clothes and toys were donated from all over, and we somehow had camp outs with the kids in the living room until DCS purchased bunk beds for us. My mother-in-law and her mom decorated the kids' room so they would feel like they had a place of their own.  We got the news that we wouldn't qualify for any foster care funds, but that we could get a small grant so the kids could keep their own health insurance. People sent us money. People I haven't seen or talked to in a very long time. People who were compassionate and prayed for and over us even though we had no idea what this journey would hold for us. Really, it was such a humbling experience. People babysat while we figured out preschool.  Co-workers helped me figure out balancing work and motherhood. Friends came to visit and showed the kids that we really all cared for them. Most of all: everyone loved on them.

We started this adventure as a temporary fix to help some people change their lives for the better. God had other plans though. The more we learned and worked through things at home, the more I knew in my heart that I couldn't ever let these children go. I wanted them to be mine. Forever. I distinctly prayed over them often, asking God to make it easy if His plan was for us to keep them. I asked that His plan would be obvious. By June 2014, we knew. We shared with close friends and family, but couldn't let much more info slip out.

I felt like by November/December, our lives became a big secret. Some of you knew what hell we were living, others may have been clueless. Let me tell you something. I am so thankful for everyone who has loved on us over the holidays, whether you knew what we were enduring or not. Holidays are supposed to be a blast, especially with kids. But. We were dealing with junk. Stuff. Nightmares. Accidents. Trust issues. I was even having nightmares, and they were horrific. It is absolutely horrible to not feel safe, and I am so thankful that we are past that. I can only imagine how scary this entire process has been for the kids. The winter season has been so, so difficult. There are days that I have called/texted friends pouring my heart out in tears. Other times, I just sat and cried at Bible study because I couldn't even talk. Some days I just sat and told God I didn't even know what to say, because I was so overwhelmed. I felt like we were in survival mode. One day at a time, one step forward.

So here we are, and its one year later. We were in the car running errands this morning, and Laiken and I had a little convo that went something like this:

Laiken: "So, I've thought about where I want to live...like forever. Like, with my old mom and dad, or you guys. And I had a dream about it too."
Me: "I'd love to hear about it."
Laiken: "I want to live with you guys forever."

There was more, but I'll let her tell you one day if she wants to. Our kids have quite the story, and one day, if they want to share, that's their deal. But ya'll. We never talk about where they want to live. We always tell them they will be loved here and we'll take care of them, but that's it. She just randomly told me all about her dream, which I truly believe was from God. And after that, she'd made her mind up. She is so matter-of-fact, and I love her for that. For a moment, I couldn't even talk because I was crying. Of course, Issak piped in and said, "Well I want to live here too!" So I had to tell him we couldn't leave him high and dry, now could we?

We had a huge cookout today in their honor.  Because we've been a family for one year. One whole year. Issak kept telling all of the employees at Sam's Club this morning that we were having a cookout, then Laiken would ask if they were coming to it. hahaha I love them. It was a blast. We had about 30 friends and family come to visit, play in the bounce house, and devour cupcakes with us. We are so blessed. To everyone who came: thank you so much. Thank you for loving our babies and showing them what life is about. Thank you for being Jesus to them and showing them what childhood is. They love each and every one of you, and they pray for you often at bedtime.

Last month, we filed some very important paperwork, and will go to court in May. Our hope and prayer is to adopt these children. (**Disclaimer: We haven't explained adoption to the kids, and wish to NOT tell them until after our court date in May. Please don't mention this in front of them, as we will need to speak with some professionals before we as a family have that discussion.**) We hope that you will join us in praying about this, that God's plan will prevail. He is mighty, and He will take care of us. Also, our girl told us that she asked Jesus into her heart. She wants to be baptized soon, so we're working on that as well. To everyone that has done anything for us, no matter how big or small, thank you. We ask now that you think of us/pray for us during this spring season. Easter is all about new life and new beginnings, and I cannot wait to share it with our babies again. This will be our second Easter, but this one will be far different than the last.

And now, some pics! Enjoy!