During this crazy season of our lives, I feel like I'm always rethinking all of our decisions. If I'm working, then I feel like I should have more time with the kids. If I am with the kids, I feel bad that I'm not at work, helping support our family. I know you working moms feel my pain. Its difficult to balance everything. I used to feel bad that I would miss out on things at school...I'm not PTA mom. Honestly, I probably never will be. But I can send all kinds of items they need. Clorox wipes and Kleenex? I got you! Need some baked goods? Yes ma'am, I can! When I can squeeze in time to go sit with them at lunch, I of course will. It just doesn't happen often. Now that they're school age, we really work hard to accomplish chores like laundry and dishes together. We cook together; they help clean and put away laundry.
They're becoming fiercely independent. Some people probably say we're pushing them to do too much or learn too many chores, but I kind of disagree. They're at the age where they LOVE to help! Learning life skills at a young age like this is great for them. Now, I don't make them scrub toilets or bathtubs, but they can help around the house. So instead of me doing it all, I have some little helpers. Let me just tell you-Issak voluntarily went and emptied out all of the small waste baskets in the house last week, and put a new bag in. All on his own. I know he's only 5, but that was such a helpful act! I didn't even have to ask him to do it.
Eighteen months ago, I would've easily have just done everything myself, and missed out on the time spent with the kids. Now I think we just embrace that time together. So on some Saturday mornings, instead of stressing over trying to clean and keep kids busy, I just let them join the fun. We still make plenty of time for evening walks/scooter rides, but I like to think that they learn all about keeping a tidy house.
Add in all of the other crazy chaos that goes with everyday life, and you've got our family. Becoming a foster family adds extra stress, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I know that we'll eventually grow out of this extremely stressful phase. I'll probably look back and wonder how on earth I kept all of the appointments straight and still have dinner cooked by 6pm. Then I'll remember that its all because it was in God's plan, and we're just doing our best day by day. When everything heaps up and it just seems like its too much to bear, God always sends a gentle reminder that it will all be ok. I'm also reminded that these aren't OUR kids....they're God's children. Its His will for their earthly lives, and they've both decided to follow Christ, so He will carry them through. He is with them, and their sweet spirits, and we can only pray that God will give us the honor of raising them.
Thank you to everyone who has encouraged us in some way, big or small. You'd be amazed how much a kind word makes a difference. I'm not good at accepting compliments, but I've made a point to REALLY listen to them lately. To the secretary at the kids' school, who encouraged me last week by telling me how great of parents we are, thank you. To my sweet friend who let me hug on her and cry out my stress of the past week, thank you. Or what about my friend that came to check on me when I had a mini-meltdown at work last week? Thank you for telling me you've been there. Everyone, thank you for telling us its all going to be ok. Thank you most of all, for praying for our family. We're ready to just be a forever family, and have waited a good eighteen months for it. We can only pray that we finish out this month before court quickly, easily, and as stress-free as possible. Really, we've prayed this entire process would be simple and quiet, without a battle. So here we sit, hoping and waiting, for that precious day when we can tell the kids, its for real deal, our forever family day.
"Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
his understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might he increases strength.
Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31
