"You're my new mommy, ok?"

Warning:  This post is about my sweet babes. So if you're sick of hearing about the children, just stop reading. I'm becoming THAT mom, who talks about her kids non-stop. This is our new life though, so this is what is consuming us.  I enjoy updating the world about our new adventures. 

We've been up to all kinds of things lately.  Trips to Dollywood, the pool, lake, mountains, you name it. It's always fun to watch the kids' expressions when they have a new experience. Part of me is a little sad that it took this long for them to enjoy something as simple as going to a movie theater, but I have learned that I can't dwell on their past. We are just moving forward and loving these babes as much as possible everyday. We cannot give enough hugs, kisses, and "I love you"s to make up for lost time. But we can try. 

I have friends doing all kinds of things with their lives. Some are working on their careers.  Others are just married or will be married in a few short months.  One of my college buddies actually adopted a 14 year old recently, and now she, her husband, and son are serving as missionaries in Costa Rica over the summer. Another girl I knew in college worked on a floating cruise-ship-turned-hospital for ten months off the coast of Africa. And then there's us. We have two toddlers and sometimes feel like we are barely treading water.  Some days when I've heard my name yelled one time too many, I get grouchy instead of having a patient heart. At times I am hateful to Brandon about something completely petty that doesn't matter at all because my day at work was awful. But we apologize, hug, and remember to cherish each other because we know at the end of the day, we love each other no matter what. 

I've been struggling with myself, feeling that maybe we aren't doing "enough". But what really is enough?  I know we can't do anything on our own, and this is all God working through us. I'm sure I probably beat myself up too much. We were just thrown into this, so we never even had a chance to talk about anything!  Everyday I have thoughts like, "was that punishment too harsh?"  "Maybe I need to just show them more love."  "Why do they randomly become sad and how do I make them happy again?"  Unfortunately, I don't have good answers for any of these questions. Sometimes they ask me questions that I cannot easily answer. I think both Brandon and I are taking each day at a time and are hoping that what we are doing is sufficient to show these children Christ's love.  

Tonight Laiken called me her "mommy". Not accidentally, but intentionally. I know this because she's always prefaced things with "let's pretend ok?"  This time was different. She was so sweet when she said, "You're my new mommy and I'm your daughter, right?"  "Sure sweet girl, you can call me whatever you want."  My heart melted. Of course I'll be your mom. Count on me to protect you, giggle in the mornings, play dress up, and paint your nails daily. Will my new name stay? Who knows.  Kids are kids and I may be "Aunt Kira" again in the morning. Or maybe not. Regardless, I loved hearing her say it all night long.  It was just kind of confirmation that we are doing something bigger than just being a fun vacation for these cute babes. We are hopefully impacting their lives forever. I wouldn't mind to keep them forever either. Time will tell, and until then, I'll just soak up every minute we have with them. 

A few family photos from recent outings:

1st lake trip

Knocked. Out. 

This pretty girl got married!

Bridesmaids. Love these ladies!

Wedding selfies before the ceremony. 

Me and the gorgeous bride!

She's a rock star. 

More pool time!  

New haircut!

Whaaaaat a pink poodle sighting!!

"Look I dressed myself this morning!"  

Father's Day fun!

Cuddle time!

Oh hey, let's add to the chaos and announce that I'm apparently Laiken's head cheer coach. So if you see me out and I look frazzled or forget to call you back, just be patient. I promise I love you and want to hear all about your life!  I'm just doing good to remember to feed the dogs.  Brandon has taken on the daunting task of trying to fix the motor home that my parents gave us. We've already got a campsite up on Norris Lake, so he's determined to get it going and take the kids to camp in the next few weeks. They're dying to try it out and I know dad would love to come visit.  So hey, we just keep adding projects to our lives, because it's what we do!  Until next time, we'll just be tinkering with all of our junk and practicing "Bang, bang, choo choo train" everywhere we go. 

It's obvious they have my heart, so let's just keep it this way. They've changed our lives forever, and I hope we can be their forever family. Love them so much. ❤️❤️❤️